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let’s talk about fish.
Rayban ban.
Tired of expensive sunglasses? You can bet your favourite face transplant I am.
In light of this tired feeling I’ve put together a guide to help you escape the tiredness and feel refreshed and invigorated and more importantly, have a cheap pair of sunglasses.
Start off by finding a selection of abandoned drinks, paying particular attention to those displaying proud and strong straws. This will be important as the straw will come to build the entire frame or “classy glasses chassis” as I like to call it.
*TOP TIP* The largest concentration of abandoned drinks and straws are found at children’s parties but they are often in poor condition with a lot of chewed ends, so staking out a children’s party should only really be done for those needing immediate relief from expensive glasses.
Once you’ve got the straws wait until Easter and hope that your mother buys you a premium Easter Egg. If she does it will hopefully have a fancy bit of translucent paper around the actual egg somewhere. Discard the egg and keep the translucent paper.
Now all you have to do is stick the straws together around your ears and eyes with sellotape, adopting the classic glasses shape with two circles over your eyes. Then cut your translucent paper into circles and attach them to the eye section of your straw chassis (these will become the lenses).
And that’s all there is to it really. These glasses will dull the sun’s rays from your eyes and protect your corneas, as well as ensuring you stay on trend with your own unique style. The lenses are fully customisable and you can change the lenses depending on your mood. I even joke that as well as a posh Easter Egg I also get a new pair of glasses every year from my Mother at Easter.
Today I wore my red lenses because I was feeling like a cowardly fishmonger.
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No real reason for this other than it’s a nice tune.
When I wear my jacket I feel important.
I’m waiting for a response in a dark room lit solely by one candle, but it’s flickering quite a lot as I’m actually roasting a tiny vole over it and the fat keeps dripping into the flame. I’m doing so hoping to have a nice roast vole to eat and a candle that is coated in vole fat from the drips, that way whenever I light it in the future, the scent will remind me of this poorly lit memory and heal my feeble psychiatric disposition.
Denial of liberty
Why don’t you just roast the shit out some potatoes and eat them with everything everyday if that’s what you want to do?
If you can’t do it now when the fuck are you ever going to do it?
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Wednesday, BLOODY WEDNESDAY
Hibou
My inspiration is normally just the little claws of birds and how they use them to cling onto the electrical wires in the sky. Perches aside I am quite a bird fan. I like most of them actually: beak, wing, bones and general feather. The odd sing and swoop also appeal to me, as well as the use of moss in home construction
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I bid on a pair of shoes on ebay and afterwards realised they were the wrong size. After days of anxiety and not wanting to make excuses or be a bid-withdrawing-arsehole, I was relieved to have been outbid.
I was overjoyed with my luck and compelled to express this via guitar.
FRANTIC IMPROVISING AND POOR QUALITY RECORDING.
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Eat oranges.
